It happens typically in middle school. Your child hops into the car after school and you ask, "How was school?" or "What are you proud of today?" Your child replies, "Um, okay...nothing...I can't remember."

[Groan.]

Later, this same child sits down to do homework, focusing on getting it done. Doesn't matter that the assignment is writing a short poem about a story they read in class. Doesn't matter that poetry demands a kind of "being with," a curiosity, and maybe some creative specificity in the second and third drafts. "What? A second draft? It's done, mom! I'm finished!"

Finished, indeed. We are all finished if this is the expected level of attention and process we expect from education. We are finished because our children are sitting day in, day out, in these hallowed (hollowed?) institutions.

Be Worried, but Don't worry: Inspiring Things Are Happening in Education

Yesterday on NPR's Here and Now, Robin Young interviewed José A. Bowen, dean of the Meadows School of the Arts, who is challenging his colleagues to "teach naked"—by which he means, sans machines. He's not anti-technology by any means, just anti-boring, and bringing the ancient art of inquiry, posing open-ended questions (this is where coaching ties in...later):

His philosophy is that the information delivery common in today's classroom lectures should be recorded and delivered to students as podcasts or online videos before class sessions. To make sure students tune in, he gives them short online multiple-choice tests.

So what's left to do during class once you've delivered your lecture? Introduce issues of debate within the discipline and get the students to weigh in based on the knowledge they have from those lecture podcasts, Mr. Bowen says. "If you say to a student, We have this problem in Mayan archaeology: We don't know if the answer is A or B. We used to all think it was A, now we think it's B. If the lecture is 'Here's the answer, it's B,' that's not very interesting. But if the student believes they can contribute, they're a whole lot more motivated to enter the discourse, and to enter the discipline."

Given that the bulk of middle and secondary education is still in the throes of No Child Left Breathing—or performance and results over process and inquiry and investigation—parents might do well to take matters into their own hands where they have the most control and impact: at home.

The heart of great coaching (and I'm really simplifying here) rests on three fundamental skills: Listening, curiosity and asking open-ended questions. At heart, we're really traveling back to the ancient art of the Socratic Method, or posing questions that allow the learner to own her learning, and to make decisions and choices based on that learning.

A few fundamentals might make all the difference in deepening your child's perception and experience of the relevance of what she's learning, and give her a leg up on connecting dots between disciplines. Some great books come to mind:

1. Co-Active Coaching by Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, and Phillip Sandahl.
2. The Art of Asking Questions by Chris Musselwhite.

Next step is to inspire your child's teachers to do the same. Speak up. And of course you can learn much by hiring a coach and experiencing the process first-hand. Not only will you never look at question-asking quite the same way, it will change your life.

In joy,

Lisa

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